Baby Book Review: "On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo

One of the first parenting baby books I read was Baby Wise. If you have had a baby in the last few years, I am sure you have heard of it. It was recommended to us by one of Todd's friends who had great success with their new baby who was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old. I was ecstatic about the thought of only losing sleep for 8 weeks and ordered it off Amazon while I was 7 months pregnant.

The reviews on Amazon were overwhelmingly positive and I could not wait to read this miracle book. It seemed like the negative reviews were parents who fell more on the "attachment parenting" side of the spectrum. When I finally got the book, I loved it! I probably read the entire thing in a week. It made so much sense to me!

Ezzo uses a model of eat-activity-sleep to base a schedule of your day around. His theory is that babies who follow an activity-eat-sleep model become snackers and are not getting fulfilling feedings, therefore they won't go for long sleep times. You create a schedule around your baby's feeding and sleeping, as a newborn they are usually 2-3 hour incriminates, that as the baby gets older start to mold together creating an all night sleep and then naps during the day. Even typing this now it makes perfect sense to me, as kids and adults our days are eat-activity-sleep. So starting this as a baby would make it a smoother transition as they grow up. Ezzo is also against creating sleep crutches such as co-sleeping, rocking your baby to sleep and nursing to sleep. The Sleep Wise baby wakes up, has a nice feeding, plays a little and the blissfully drifts off to sleep.

So here is what I think about this book after having Hudson, I truly believe you have to have a baby with a certain disposition for this to work for you. If you have a "high needs" or "spirited" baby (both ways I have read babies like Hudson described) it won't work for you. I am not the only one either. While scouring the web trying to find resources on helping Hudson sleep, I found many mommy blogs who swore by Baby Wise for their babies until one came along who just could not be molded. Styleberry has my favorite blog post on the whole thing and made me feel better about my own Baby Wise fail.

Hudson is going to have sleep crutches, I have accepted that, but Hudson is not the type of baby that you can read their sleep cues and then put them down to self soothe. First off, I couldn't even put him down for the first 2 1/2 weeks of his life and second Hudson doesn't even have sleep cues, he goes from being happy and content to complete mental breakdown. This kid wakes up mad because there isn't a boob in his mouth by the time he starts to stir. If you think that I am going wake a baby up from my breast that has just cried for 45 minutes straight just so they can have an activity (probably me walking them around while they cry) you my friend are crazy. I rock this baby to sleep, I nurse this baby to sleep and I pull this baby into bed at 4 am and throw him on my breast so I can sleep for an extra hour or so. 

All in all I really did like to book and I am not saying it will never work for us. During the day I try to follow the eat-activity-sleep but forget it at night. I take the path of least resistance, which is very un-wise in Baby a Wise world. I have come to terms with the fact Hudson won't sleep throught the night for a while, but he has certain needs that have to met right now. It truly is his world Todd and I just live in it. When he gets a little older and can regulate his emotions a little better, we might circle back and try it again. 

The book opens up with this description of the opposite of a Baby Wise mom. She nurses they baby to sleep in a dark room then slowly creeps into the nursery and very carefully lays the baby down, taking extra care to not move away too quickly. Ezzo actually says "poor mother" while describing her. Last night as I stood over Hudson's bassinet after rocking him for an hour and gave it a few rocks so he wouldn't think I put him down yet, I had a little chuckle, I did complete something in that book...I am the Baby Wise fail!

Excuse this terrible photo (I took it on my Ipad in a dark room while blogging this) but here is a prime example of a baby who fell asleep at 3 am while nursing and I am not about to wake him up

So tell me, did you have any luck with Baby Wise?

-Mrs.J 

"At Least We're Not The Slim Jim Parents" - Hudson At One Month

So technically as of today Hudson is 5 weeks, 1 day old. I had the best intentions to get this up while he was still one month old, however last week was pretty tough including switching Hudson's reflux medicine, a hunger strike and a majorly clogged milk duct so I did not have any computer time.

Leaving the hospital

Here we are, one month into parenthood and all I can say is "at least we're not the Slim Jim parents." (Keep reading for that to make sense)  Having a newborn is an experience that NOTHING can prepare you for. I had this grand idea of what my first month of motherhood was going to be like including; my baby will sleep all day long (wrong) I will just put my baby in hiss cozy little bassinet and he will be content (double wrong) my baby will just cry when he needs a diaper change or is hungry (TRIPLE WRONG)

First off, Hudson has acid reflux. It's pretty common for newborn babies and most babies are not bothered by it and eventually grow out it. This was not the case for Hudson. Even before we left the hospital Hudson would just scream and cry all night long. Todd and I could not figure out what was wrong with him. I would sit there in the room trying to calm him down and just imagine the nurses outside my door shaking their heads at my parenting. I just pictured them saying to each other "That poor baby, those people don't know what they are doing!"

Typical Hudson face

When we brought him home it didn't get any better. There were times when you just could not calm this baby down.  There were so many times I would look at Hudson, his face so red from screaming and I would just say "I am so sorry you stuck with the new parents who have no idea what their doing" It killed me to not be able to soothe what was hurting my baby.

 The only thing that would get him to stop crying was to nurse. Since his crying usually peaked in the evening, I spent most of 4-9 pm during the first two weeks nursing non-stop. Luckily Todd's mom came out to meet Hudson and right away said "it looks like he has reflux." Todd had it really badly as a baby so she had some experience with it. I made an appointment with the the pediatrician and we worked out treatment plan including Zantac for Hudson and me cutting all dairy out of my diet...the one thing I was hoping I would never have to do. It is still a work in progress and I wish I could say today we are 100% fine, but reflux deserves its own post.

Hudson enjoys the superbaby hold aka colic hold

 Hudson also refused to sleep in his bassinet for the first weeks of life. He would only sleep if I held him in my arms, including naps. During those first few couple weeks I was lucky to get 15 minutes hands free to take a quick shower. At night I would wrap myself up in my Snoogle maternity pillow so I wouldn't fall over on him during the night. I did not have any solid sleep because I was so paranoid I would smother my baby. Today he is sleeping in a bassinet next to our bed, but it was a very slow process. I scoured books, blogs and movies to find some advice on helping your baby sleep, also deserving of its own blog post.

These moments make it all worth the sleepless nights!

Even though they were an incredibly rough first four weeks, I can't imagine my life without my little man. There were moments that just melted my heart; rocking him to sleep while singing him a song, the way he puts one hand on my chest while he sleeps in my arms, the way he bunches his little hands up into fists when he first starts to nurse, his hiccups...he is my greatest accomplishment.

I have also learned I am not as incompetent of a parent as I feel. I have loved putting statuses on Facebook about what I think are parenting fails only to see so many of friends and family went through the exact same thing. During one midnight feeding where I was rocking to him to sleep and thinking how I am creating a sleep crutch that will mean Hudson will have to be rocked to sleep until he is in high school, I posted a status asking if anyone really does sleep training at night. I had so many comments saying "I still rock my baby" or "We love co-sleeping" or "My baby didn't still through the night until he was 1." It made me feel so much better about my own struggles between trying to do what the "experts" say and doing what I know works for my baby. I am constantly having to remind myself that when it comes to Hudson, I am the expert. I am the one who will know what works for him and even if it goes against the "rules" if it makes him happy and keeps him healthy, I am doing it!

Funny guy!

At our one month appointment our pediatrician was going over the regular questions about Hudson health and he asked "no juice right?" I looked at him like he was crazy. Of course I am not giving my newborn baby juice! I told him "No, of course not. I didn't think were supposed to introduce anything like until like 6 months" He said "You would be surprised, I think the worst thing I saw was when I lived in North Carolina and some parents gave their 4 month old baby a Slim Jim to teethe on." So now when ever I feel like I am failing as a parent because I am not sleep training Hudson or that after I change his diaper in public I give him a little squirt of his Colic Calm because he likes the flavor so he won't scream when I walk out the bathroom or that I once nursed him for 2 hours so Todd and I could watch a movie in silence, I always tell myself "At least we're not the parents with the Slim Jim"

Hudson's One Month Stats:

-He weighs 7 pounds 13.5 ounces
-21 inches long
-Still wearing newborn clothes, I was so hesitant to buy any newborn stuff because I was told he would only wear it for a week. His 0-3 month clothes are so big one him! Poor guy has to rotate the same 7 rompers.
-Average stretch of sleep is 2 hours during the day and 3 hours at night

Hudson's One Month Highlights

-His first Christmas at Nana and Pop Pop's house. He loved sitting by the fire.

-Meeting his Grandma and Grandpa

-Meeting his Great Grandma McLarty

-Bath time! Hudson loves soaking in the warm water.

I just have so much love for this little guy!

-Mrs. J

The Snuggler

So as long as I can remember I have just looooved sleeping with people. Something about having someone next to you at night or in the room with you is just so calming. Even up until the 8th grade I would still pull my sleeping bag into my parent’s room and crash on their floor. (Sorry about that mom and dad, guess I am needy)
Todd and I didn’t live together before we got married, so the idea to me of having someone who you get to sleep and snuggle with every single night for the rest of your life was like winning the lottery! I mean, I have someone to talk to right before I go to bed and someone to wrap a bear hug around int the middle of the night even when they are sleeping peacefully. SCORE!
However, it is taking some adjustments to get a good nights sleep…for Todd. I am just so excited that he is there I just close my eyes and blissfully fall into dreamland. Apparently my dreamland for Todd is more like a WWII battlefield. Here are few things that Todd has had to become accustomed.
1) The Cats

I guess they discovered that I don’t give them much attention when I am sleeping. I actually hide from them under the covers at night when they jump on the bed. I know better than to fall prey to their evil but adorable cat ways. Todd was so sweet and blinded by their ridiculously cute faces that he made the poor choice of waking up a little at night to pet them. Now this image is a nightly occurance…but with two cats.
2) The Alligator Death Roll

This what Todd calls it when I tightly tuck the covers under my arm and proceed to roll over and over and over until I am nice and cozy, blissfully mummified in the covers and he has a corner of sheet left.
3) The Shadow

If I have not death-rolled the covers away, it is probably because I have cornered Todd onto his side of the bed and he is trying with all his might to not fall off . I can’t help it. Sometimes my subconscious just remembers how much I like him and we have to get as close as possible to him at that very moment! He once said we should have purchased a king-size bed to keep this little issue from  happening. I told him it wouldn’t matter, we would have this huge mattress and I would have him corralled into a sleeping area the size of twin bed.
4) The Incenorator

If you know Todd, you know his internal body temperature runs at least 10 degrees hotter that any other human being. This means too many times me trying to snuggle him and sending him into a heat stroke because my leg is on him. Unfortunately for him there is no escaping my bear hug at night. I usually move away when begins to sweat profusely.
I have also committed the following sleeping sins: Waking up and yanking his pillow out from under his head, even though I already had two. Smacking his face in the middle of the night. Becoming congested, snoring, and then blaming it on him.
Isn’t co-sleeping fun?!?!?
Happy Friday everyone!
-Heidi