Four years down, a lifetime of happiness to go!

So my anniversary post is a little late. Our actual anniversary is the 16th and I sat down to blog about it, but then Hudson cried all the time while switching reflux meds, guests came to visit and at some point I had to take a shower. Now I have a baby who is sleeping in a swing and two free hands to type so I can finally write my love letter to my amazing husband. This last year of marriage had our highest point so far (the birth of Hudson) but it also had the hardest and lowest point of marriage so far, the loss of our first pregnancy. It's amazing how much life can change in a year.

I sat down many times last year to try and blog about the misscarriage. I thought it would be therapeutic to sit down and journal it, but the words just never seemed to come to me. I don't know if there is a way to really convey how you go from such joy to such sadness in a matter of minutes. I couldn't describe how it felt the day we went into our ultrasound and held our breathe as the tech tried to find the heartbeat we had heard just a week before. I couldn't write how it felt to get our families to spend Christmas together and surprise them with our pregnancy only to call them a week later and say there would be no grandbaby in August. I couldn't explain the pain, both physically and emotionally, the night we had to go to ER and how unprepared our OB had made us for what happens when you actually lose your baby. But probably the hardest part about it was telling people who didn't even know you're pregnant that you had a miscarriage. Really the blog post would be "This sucks and I cry a lot."

You are probably wondering why I would start an anniversary post with this sad story, it's because even though it was the hardest thing I have experienced, it truly solidified why I married Todd. The amount of love and support he gave me during those weeks of anguish were amazing. I don't know if I could have recovered if I didn't have him in my life. The nights that I would lay in bed and cry, he held me and told me every thing would be ok. The moments when I felt betrayed by my body because it didn't bring a baby full term, he told me over and over again how it wasn't my fault. When we talked about trying again, he only wanted to make sure I was ready. Even though he had lost a child as well, all of his energy went into making sure I was ok. When we got pregnant again and I was so stressed during those first 12 weeks, he listened to my paranoia without rollng his eyes. He was my rock. 

I think when it comes to marraige, everyone gages what their relationship is like based on all the good times, when it's really the tough times that count. How do you treat each other in times of crisis? When we lost our baby we both were heartbroken, but we came together to heal. We found comfort and solace in one anonther. Our marriage is 90% easy breezey, 10% tough times and I never want it to be 100% perfect because it's during that 10% that we grow and on the other side of it become better together.

So Todd, thank you so much for this life and adventure you have given me.

You made me your girlfriend...

Your fiance...

Your wife...

Your best friend...

and the best role of my life so far, you made me the mother of your child.

I love you and cheers to lifetime more of happiness and love.

-Mrs. J

Baby Book Review: "On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo

One of the first parenting baby books I read was Baby Wise. If you have had a baby in the last few years, I am sure you have heard of it. It was recommended to us by one of Todd's friends who had great success with their new baby who was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old. I was ecstatic about the thought of only losing sleep for 8 weeks and ordered it off Amazon while I was 7 months pregnant.

The reviews on Amazon were overwhelmingly positive and I could not wait to read this miracle book. It seemed like the negative reviews were parents who fell more on the "attachment parenting" side of the spectrum. When I finally got the book, I loved it! I probably read the entire thing in a week. It made so much sense to me!

Ezzo uses a model of eat-activity-sleep to base a schedule of your day around. His theory is that babies who follow an activity-eat-sleep model become snackers and are not getting fulfilling feedings, therefore they won't go for long sleep times. You create a schedule around your baby's feeding and sleeping, as a newborn they are usually 2-3 hour incriminates, that as the baby gets older start to mold together creating an all night sleep and then naps during the day. Even typing this now it makes perfect sense to me, as kids and adults our days are eat-activity-sleep. So starting this as a baby would make it a smoother transition as they grow up. Ezzo is also against creating sleep crutches such as co-sleeping, rocking your baby to sleep and nursing to sleep. The Sleep Wise baby wakes up, has a nice feeding, plays a little and the blissfully drifts off to sleep.

So here is what I think about this book after having Hudson, I truly believe you have to have a baby with a certain disposition for this to work for you. If you have a "high needs" or "spirited" baby (both ways I have read babies like Hudson described) it won't work for you. I am not the only one either. While scouring the web trying to find resources on helping Hudson sleep, I found many mommy blogs who swore by Baby Wise for their babies until one came along who just could not be molded. Styleberry has my favorite blog post on the whole thing and made me feel better about my own Baby Wise fail.

Hudson is going to have sleep crutches, I have accepted that, but Hudson is not the type of baby that you can read their sleep cues and then put them down to self soothe. First off, I couldn't even put him down for the first 2 1/2 weeks of his life and second Hudson doesn't even have sleep cues, he goes from being happy and content to complete mental breakdown. This kid wakes up mad because there isn't a boob in his mouth by the time he starts to stir. If you think that I am going wake a baby up from my breast that has just cried for 45 minutes straight just so they can have an activity (probably me walking them around while they cry) you my friend are crazy. I rock this baby to sleep, I nurse this baby to sleep and I pull this baby into bed at 4 am and throw him on my breast so I can sleep for an extra hour or so. 

All in all I really did like to book and I am not saying it will never work for us. During the day I try to follow the eat-activity-sleep but forget it at night. I take the path of least resistance, which is very un-wise in Baby a Wise world. I have come to terms with the fact Hudson won't sleep throught the night for a while, but he has certain needs that have to met right now. It truly is his world Todd and I just live in it. When he gets a little older and can regulate his emotions a little better, we might circle back and try it again. 

The book opens up with this description of the opposite of a Baby Wise mom. She nurses they baby to sleep in a dark room then slowly creeps into the nursery and very carefully lays the baby down, taking extra care to not move away too quickly. Ezzo actually says "poor mother" while describing her. Last night as I stood over Hudson's bassinet after rocking him for an hour and gave it a few rocks so he wouldn't think I put him down yet, I had a little chuckle, I did complete something in that book...I am the Baby Wise fail!

Excuse this terrible photo (I took it on my Ipad in a dark room while blogging this) but here is a prime example of a baby who fell asleep at 3 am while nursing and I am not about to wake him up

So tell me, did you have any luck with Baby Wise?

-Mrs.J 

Back in a big way

Well hi there blog! Long time no see…like over two years long. Guess life has been a little busy for us here at House of Jaramillo. The last few years seem to have zoomed by. Time flies when you are having fun, huh?

There have been a few major life changes here at House of Jaramillo since we last blogged (which, wowza what a downer that one was!) I graduated from ASU with a degree in Public Relations from ASU’s Walter Cronkite School of Journalism. Then, about two years ago I started a new job working at a home health care agency. After being there about half a year I got an opportunity to become their Medicare biller. Totally not what I went to school for, but the experience I have gotten there I wouldn’t be able to even buy at a trade school so even though it was 360 from Public relations, I am  happy I ended up going down that road.. It has given me skills that I pretty much could take to any hospital or doctor’s office so I feel like I have a little job security. I don’t regret what I got my degree in at all. It really is amazing how often I use my PR skills, even in a job that doesn't really require them. I also made some really great friends at school; I wouldn't change that part in my life for anything.

Todd also started a new job in December of 2012. He moved from the Arizona Department of Education to the Arizona Department of Health Services. This was extremely exciting for our family because he had worked incredibly hard on his Masters and graduated with a Masters in Health Care Administration from A.T. Still in August of 2012. It felt like all his hard work paid off when he was able to start working in the health care field, which is something he had wanted to do for a very long time. The commute to downtown Phoenix is still a pain, but we are able to carpool half way so it works out.

The last year also saw us starting some home improvement projects. Summer of 2012 we put in a pool and it has probably been the best upgrade to the house so far. We only got to swim in a few months last year so this spring we were anxiously checking the temperature until we could get in. While most people in Phoenix were probably dreading the 100 degree weather, I couldn’t wait to spend my day pool side.

Todd also started doing some projects inside the house. One of our amazing neighbors (thank you Tim!!!) spent a week helping Todd rip out our cheap linoleum and install tile. They did the kitchen/dining room together and then Todd was able to do our entry way and half bathroom by himself. My parents also came down to help us update our laundry room. My mom helped me paint and then Todd and my dad installed cabinets and a counter. We still have some more work to be done, but once everything is finished we will post some pictures.

I guess our biggest news of 2013 would be that we are expecting a little Baby Jaramillo in December! 

We couldn't be more excited for our biggest addition to our family. We have been taking weekly belly photos and I will do a complete recap of my first trimester soon.  It will be interesting to see how the “baby” of the family (Nunu) will adapt to the new addition. She has been pretty spoiled and enjoying her only child status.

Life has been good but busy for the last few years and we are only getting started! Stay tuned because we are back in a very big way.

-Mrs.J

You need to know about...

If you haven't figured it out yet, I am little obsessed with my cats. I can't help it really, ever since I was a child I have just loved cats. Nothing turns me into this little girl again:

 like seeing a little kitty running around. I seriously can't help it.

I know I talk about our little kitty Scioscia a bunch and I really think you need to know the story of Nunu because if you ever meet her, you will instantly fall in love. Even my sister Laura who has been a dog person from day one has a sweet spot for Nunu. She has the best kitty spirit I think I have ever known. I will always maintain  Nunu and I were destined to be together. I think we are kindred spirits and needed to spend some time on is earth together.

 Before I married Todd, I lived my sisters. One day the absolute worst neighbors moved into our cul-de-sac. It was a blended family of a boyfriend/girlfriend and their children from previous relationships. The kids ran around crazy and unsupervised; many a day I ran outside, broke up their fight and sent them home, I have to say it was good practice for my future mom-voice. The dad spent a lot of his time drinking beer and blaring country music in the front yard. Probably the breaking point with this new neighbor was when a man living with them came outside drunk and yelled some really racist things at our next door neighbor who we all loved. Needless to say, this family was a little bit of a rough crowd and this was the first family that Nunu ever knew. She was a gift from the biological mother of one of the children that lived in the house. They named her Angel. At first Nunu was allowed to be inside, then the dad's friend who was living with the family (Mr. Racist Pants) decided he didn't like the cat, I am guessing Nunu probably decided she didn't like him either, and she was soon kicked out of the house. They even stopped giving her food and water. I really don't know how they thought she would survive.

I remember the exact day I first met Nunu. I was walking out to get the mail when I spotted this adorable grey little fluffy things walking across the cul-de-sac. Remember that little girl you saw in the top photo? Yeah, I revert to that girl so often. I of course had to call this little kitty over, I used my loving cat calls I would use to call my sister's cat Coco, "Here kitty kitty, my little nunie-nunie head." If you have pets you understand that. Nunu looked at me and without any hesitation came trotting over. She started purring when I pet her, I was immediately smitten. Our relationship continued this way for a couple weeks. She would come over to me anytime I was outside in the front yard. Once when I was outside and she was sitting with me, the little girl from across the street came over. "Do you know whose kitty this is?" I asked her. "Oh yeah, that is our cat Angel. She can't come inside anymore because my dad's friend doesn't like her." Then without any concern for what should be her cat, she ran off and started playing. My my heart broke for Nunu. I decided I would start putting out food and water for her, but she had to stay an outside cat. She had gotten use to my cat calls and would come whenever I would call out "Nunu," so the name kind of stuck. I hadn't been looking to adopt a cat and still being on the parental unit's dime, I couldn't really just decide to take on the responsibility. After my mom came for a visit and met Nunu, we found a place in Phoenix that would spay and neuter feral cats. If you notice Nunu has the top of her right ear cut off, this what the clinic did to identify her as fixed. This way if she were to be picked up by Animal Control they would release her back into the neighborhood since she was really not a problem if she wouldn't be having any kittens. It seemed that we had a good thing going, Nunu was my happy outside kitty. Then winter came.

I could tell that Nunu was getting really lonely. She made friends with another little kitty that I was feeding and had gotten fixed, I called her Tiggs. Tiggs was very shy and never let me touch her, she would just follow Nunu around and sit near me when I was outside but was never brave enough to let me touch her. One day Tiggs disappeared. I am not sure what happened to her, she just stopped coming around. This really made Nunu sad. She started spending all of her time outside our house. I would spend as much time as I could with her. When it got cold, Todd and I bought her a kitty bed and rug that she could sleep in outside. Every night I came home she would be curled up in her bed. Then came the tipping point. One day I was home alone and felt very sorry for little Nunu. I could see her sitting outside the house looking lonely. I decided to just let her come spend a little time with me inside while I was watching TV...the next day I started to let her spend a little more time...then a few days later I brought her bed inside to sleep in during cold night. Since she had spent the start of her life as an inside kitty, it was easy for her to go back to using a litter box. Then Nunu watched our dog Emma use the doggy door, all bets were off and Nunu moved herslef in the next day. For a long time Nunu was very desperate for attention. Anytime you were sitting down she would run over and curl up in your lap, purring her heart out. Even when she was sleeping next to you she liked to put one paw on you, just to make sure you weren't leaving her. It was as if she worried you would abandon her any minute and she would be out on the street again.

That of course never happened. Nunu was such a good kitty who followed all the rules so easily that my sister never really objected to Nunu moving in. My mom was so smitten by her loving personality that we knew we just couldn't throw her back in the street. This cat really went from homeless to the lap of luxury.

I had always been a person who would adopt a rescue before anything else, but I never really felt like an advocate for it until I met Nunu. Here was this kitty who wanted nothing more than to be unconditionally loved by a family. Her little kitty spirit really inspired to me want to help out other pets. I even chose my senior PR internship with a rescue group because of Nunu. I am just so glad serendipity meant that Nunu and I would meet. She really deserves all of the love that she gets because she gives so much in return. Since Nunu didn't get the prettiest name I decided to giver her the middle name Bella because it means beautiful.

-Mrs.J

Getting to Know You

So last night Todd and I both learned something new about each other. We have been a couple for five years and last night discovered that both of us have a love for Ginger Ale!


Now this may not seem like that big of a deal, but I thought I knew everything about him. I thought his favorite drink (which it is) was Pepsi and I though he probably would think Ginger Ale was gross so I never bought it when went shopping. Well this week I came down with an allergy induced cold and my sweet husband was nice enough to stop Walgreens and get some heavy duty decongestant for me.  I had only been drinking water and was craving something a little carbonated but not too sweet and Ginger Ale just sounded like it would hit the spot. When he got home with my meds and the soda, Todd took one out and told me how much he loved Ginger Ale. He just never got it because he didn’t think I liked it.
I know it probably is a silly little thing, but I was just so amazed that there were still things about him I am learning. I think when you get so far into a relationship, sometimes you forget to keep getting to know that person. I am going to really enjoy when we have been married for 20 years and I am still finding out little things about him.
What is something you found out about your significant other that you never knew that surprised you?

A Litte Hard Work...

I think it would be impossible for me to stress how blessed Todd and I are to have families who are willing to spend Mother’s Day helping us put in landscaping! Thank you Mamma J, thank you Mamma McLarty, Dad, Laura and Katie. You were all a LIFESAVERS!!!
So Todd and I decided to use our wedding money towards doing some landscaping. At first we had planned to just wait until we put in a pool, but after talking to a guy at the Nursery who told us we could landscape up to two years before doing a pool, we decided to finally put our large backyard to use.

We purchased the Bonanza package and ended up with; two 24 gallon Queen Palms, four 12 gallon Queen Palms, two Pygmy Palms, three Cape Honeysuckles, two Hibiscus , two Orange Jubilees and two Ruellias. We also purchased some grass seed separately.
The nursery came and planted all of tress, but to save money we took on the task of installing a drip system ourselves.

On Mother’s Day weekend Todd’s mom and my whole family came over and spent all day Saturday digging trenches and laying tubing. It was a long hot day, but we got it done and now Todd and I can actually enjoy spending time our in our backyard. We even ended up buying some patio furniture, just to really be able sit outside and enjoy it. I predict that most summer evenings are going to spent grilling and enjoying the Arizona summer. Even the girls like it!

Now we are really motivated to save money and get that pool put in…
We will keep you updated on how the grass grows!
The Mr. & Mrs.

Day 100

Todd and I broke the 100 day mark of marriage today and while I know we have still have a long road ahead of us and probably harder decisions, if the media can’t do a 100 day report on our President, I think I can do one on my marriage.

I think the first good thing is that these days really have flown by. It still surprises me that we have been Mr. & Mrs. for over 3 months now! It seems like just yesterday we got married, I still get calls for vendors trying to help me plan my wedding. But these 100 days have been great really getting to know each other in ways that you can’t get to know someone. From clogging toilets to sharing finances, nothing is hidden anymore and knowing that I have someone who loves me regardless of anything? That is such an incredible feeling.
Here are a few nuggets I have learned on being married, things that I think will continue to help us have a long and happy marriage.
-Todd and I have a “do it yourself” policy in regards to making things get done the way you like them. We never criticize the other person if they are doing something a way we don’t like it done, we just say “ok I am going to take this one on and be in charge of it.”
-Always go to Home Depot and look around even if you would rather stay home and watch MTV reruns. These moments show support and can be great memories.
-That 30$ necessary purchase at Target is not always as necessary to your husband.
-Rate it! Todd and I went to pre-martial counseling because we both knew our differences in communication and how we fight could potentially pose some problems in the future. We both wanted to be able to argue over things but be fair and feel like you were being heard. Our counselor gave me probably the best advice of my life. Apparently I am sensitive…who knew right! So whenever Todd would say something many times I would say “That hurt my feelings, you should apologize.” Now, that is not a bad thing telling someone when they hurt your feelings, but when it is happening all the time it can get tiring and Todd was becoming desensitized to when I really had my feelings hurt. Our counselor told me to rate things before I said anything. If it was lower on the scale, I should just let it go. No reason to get upset over small things that usually were just accidental anyways. We use this all the time whenever one of us gets upset, it really keeps us in check from arguing over every little thing.
-Always say “have a good day” first thing in the morning and “how was your day” first thing in the evening.
While I know I no expert on marriage by any means, I do think that Todd and I are going to have a long and happy marriage. We both above all love and care about the other person and are ready and prepared to put in the grunt work that married life can sometimes bring.
Even on the hardest of hard days, marrying Todd was the best decision I ever made. Here is to 100 days more!

Cheers!!!!
-Heidi