I think the first good thing is that these days really have flown by. It still surprises me that we have been Mr. & Mrs. for over 3 months now! It seems like just yesterday we got married, I still get calls for vendors trying to help me plan my wedding. But these 100 days have been great really getting to know each other in ways that you can’t get to know someone. From clogging toilets to sharing finances, nothing is hidden anymore and knowing that I have someone who loves me regardless of anything? That is such an incredible feeling.
Here are a few nuggets I have learned on being married, things that I think will continue to help us have a long and happy marriage.
-Todd and I have a “do it yourself” policy in regards to making things get done the way you like them. We never criticize the other person if they are doing something a way we don’t like it done, we just say “ok I am going to take this one on and be in charge of it.”
-Always go to Home Depot and look around even if you would rather stay home and watch MTV reruns. These moments show support and can be great memories.
-That 30$ necessary purchase at Target is not always as necessary to your husband.
-Rate it! Todd and I went to pre-martial counseling because we both knew our differences in communication and how we fight could potentially pose some problems in the future. We both wanted to be able to argue over things but be fair and feel like you were being heard. Our counselor gave me probably the best advice of my life. Apparently I am sensitive…who knew right! So whenever Todd would say something many times I would say “That hurt my feelings, you should apologize.” Now, that is not a bad thing telling someone when they hurt your feelings, but when it is happening all the time it can get tiring and Todd was becoming desensitized to when I really had my feelings hurt. Our counselor told me to rate things before I said anything. If it was lower on the scale, I should just let it go. No reason to get upset over small things that usually were just accidental anyways. We use this all the time whenever one of us gets upset, it really keeps us in check from arguing over every little thing.
-Always say “have a good day” first thing in the morning and “how was your day” first thing in the evening.
While I know I no expert on marriage by any means, I do think that Todd and I are going to have a long and happy marriage. We both above all love and care about the other person and are ready and prepared to put in the grunt work that married life can sometimes bring.
Even on the hardest of hard days, marrying Todd was the best decision I ever made. Here is to 100 days more!
Cheers!!!!
-Heidi
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